Polterabend: the German-Swiss pre-wedding party — traditions, ideas and games

Crash, cheers, laughter: the sound of old plates shattering on the ground is the sound of a Polterabend, one of the liveliest wedding customs in the German-speaking world. Friends and family smash crockery to wish the couple luck, and the couple sweep up the pieces together. Whether you are planning one, have been invited to one or are simply curious, this guide explains where the Polterabend comes from, who organises and pays for it and what may be smashed, with plenty of ideas and games for the party.

The short version

• What it is: a relaxed party before the wedding at which guests smash old crockery for luck. The couple then sweep up the pieces together.
• When: traditionally the evening before the wedding; today usually one or two weeks before, on a Friday or Saturday evening.
• Who hosts: the couple themselves or their parents — unlike a stag or hen do, which friends organise.
• Who comes: everyone close to the couple, including friends, neighbours and colleagues who are not invited to the wedding.
• What to smash: porcelain, ceramics and earthenware. Never glass or mirrors.
• In Switzerland: in the Bern region and Central Switzerland, the word means a big crockery-smashing party a few weeks before the wedding; in the rest of German-speaking Switzerland, it often just means the stag or hen do.

Where does the Polterabend come from?

Pagan roots: driving away spirits with noise

The origins of the Polterabend are not entirely clear, but many historians and folklorists believe they go back to pagan rituals. In pre-Christian times, people believed that evil spirits and demons were especially drawn to happy events such as an upcoming wedding. To drive these envious spirits away and protect the couple, people made as much noise as they could.

The crash of breaking crockery served exactly that purpose: a loud, protective ritual meant to give the couple an undisturbed and happy start to married life. The noise also gave the evening its name: poltern is German for crashing and banging about.

Why broken crockery brings luck

"Broken crockery brings luck", goes the old saying, and it is the heart of the Polterabend. But why broken pieces, of all things? There are several explanations, and they fit together well:

• A new chapter: smashing old crockery stands for the end of single life and the start of a new life together. You leave the old behind to make room for something new that you share.
• Inseparable: once porcelain has been broken, it can never be put back together perfectly. This symbolises the uniqueness of the marriage being made and a bond that is meant to be inseparable.
• Tackling things together: the most important part of the custom is the couple sweeping up the pieces together. It is their first symbolic test, and it shows that they are ready to face future difficulties, and whatever else life smashes to pieces, as a team.

From village custom to modern party

In the past, the Polterabend was a spontaneous, public event. The whole village turned up unannounced at the home of the couple or the bride's parents to smash crockery and celebrate. Anyone who wished the couple well was welcome, which underlined that a marriage was part of the life of the community.

Today, the Polterabend is usually planned, but it is still an informal and relaxed party, often with friends and family. The open spirit has remained: unlike the wedding, which usually has a fixed guest list, everyone is often welcome at a Polterabend.

When, who and how: the ground rules

The Polterabend is a relaxed affair, but a few established customs help with the planning.

When is the Polterabend held?

Traditionally, the Polterabend takes place on the evening before the wedding. Today this is often discouraged, for understandable reasons: nobody wants to stand at the altar with a hangover.

The modern and far more popular option is to hold it one or two weeks before the wedding, usually on a Friday or Saturday evening. That gives the couple and the guests enough time to recover and look forward to the wedding day itself. In the end, the timing is entirely up to the couple.

Who organises it?

This is one of the biggest differences from the stag or hen do. Traditionally, the Polterabend is organised and hosted by the couple themselves or by their parents. The couple invite family, friends, neighbours and colleagues to their home or to a hired venue to celebrate together.

Today, the witnesses or close friends often help with the organisation, but the couple usually remain the hosts. That makes it a very personal and warm occasion.

Who pays?

As the couple are the hosts, the answer is usually: the couple. They provide the venue, the basic food (often a relaxed buffet or a barbecue) and the drinks.

That said, a Polterabend is a very communal occasion. It is entirely normal, and often even expected, for guests to bring something along: a salad for the buffet, a crate of beer or a bottle of wine. This easy-going bring-along style underlines the informal spirit of the evening and keeps the couple's costs in check.

Who is invited?

The guest list for a Polterabend is traditionally very open. Unlike the wedding, to which often only the closest circle is invited, the Polterabend is a party for everyone close to the couple:

• close family and relatives
• all your friends (including those who are not coming to the wedding)
• neighbours
• colleagues
• fellow club members

It is a wonderful chance to celebrate with the people who cannot be there on the wedding day itself.

What may be smashed, and what never should be

Smashing crockery is the central act of the evening. But be careful: not everything that breaks brings luck.

Allowed: this brings luck

Anything made of fired clay is perfect for smashing:

• Porcelain: old plates, cups, saucers and bowls
• Ceramics: plant pots, tiles, old jugs
• Earthenware and clay: old vases or ornaments
• Bathroom fittings: an old washbasin or toilet is the comic highlight of many a Polterabend.

Forbidden: this brings bad luck

There are two absolute no-gos, whose pieces are said to bring bad luck:

• Glass: glasses, bottles and window panes are taboo. Broken crockery brings luck, but broken glass stands for tears and misfortune.
• Mirrors: a broken mirror famously brings seven years of bad luck — the exact opposite of what you want to wish the couple.

Also off the pile: rubbish

A modern Polterabend should also be a responsible one. Plastic waste, metal (such as old pots and pans) and other rubbish do not belong on the pile. The point is to break old things symbolically, not to get rid of your rubbish.

Polterabend ideas: more than broken plates and beer

A Polterabend can be much more than smashing crockery. Here are a few ideas to make the party unforgettable.

Theme parties

A theme gives the party a common thread and makes for fun costumes and decorations.

• 1980s or 1990s party: with the music and loud outfits to match.
• Bad taste party: everyone comes in the worst outfit they can find.
• Rustic barn party: with straw bales, fairy lights and rustic decoration.

Food: from barbecue buffet to food truck

The food should match the relaxed character of the evening.

• Barbecue buffet: a classic that always goes down well.
• Soup kitchen: especially in the colder months, a mobile field kitchen serving goulash, or a large choice of soups, is a great idea.
• Food truck: hire a food truck (for burgers, pizza or tacos, for example) as a special highlight.
• Bring-a-dish buffet: the simplest option, with every guest contributing something to the buffet.

The midnight snack: wedding soup

A lovely custom is to serve wedding soup at midnight. This clear broth with a garnish is meant to give the couple strength for their marriage, and it makes a calm, pleasant end to all the noise.

Polterabend ideas for women

The classic Polterabend is for everyone, but there is also a trend to celebrate separately, women and men apart, as an alternative to the hen or stag do. Here are some ideas for the women.

Creative workshops

• Flower crowns: in keeping with the wedding theme, make beautiful flower crowns together under professional guidance.
• Cocktail class: learn together how to mix the bride's favourite cocktails.
• Pottery class: get creative and go home with a lovely keepsake.

Wellness before the big day

• Spa day: book a day spa package with massages, sauna and time to relax.
• Yoga retreat: a relaxing weekend of yoga and meditation to balance out the wedding stress.

City trips and adventures

• Treasure hunt through the city: a personalised treasure hunt with tasks and puzzles about the bride.
• Glamping weekend: the luxury version of camping in the great outdoors.

Polterabend ideas for men

The men have great alternatives to plain crockery-smashing too.

Barbecue and brewery visit

Combine a tour of a local craft brewery with a big barbecue afterwards.

Sport and action

• Go-karting: find out who is the fastest driver among your friends.
• Bubble football: hilarious and full of action.
• Paintball or laser tag: for a good dose of adrenaline.

Outdoor adventure

A weekend in nature together, whether camping, hiking, fishing or canoeing, brings you closer and creates lasting memories.

Polterabend games

Games break the ice and get guests talking to each other.

The classic: sweeping up together

The most important "game" of the evening. The couple have to clear the pile of broken crockery together with a broom and dustpan. It shows how they will master every challenge in the future: together, as a team.

Games for the couple

• The shoe game: the couple sit back to back and answer questions about their relationship by holding up either their own shoe or one of their partner's.
• Marriage quiz: friends prepare questions about each partner's little quirks.

Games for the guests

• Wedding bingo: every guest gets a bingo card with typical Polterabend moments ("someone tells an embarrassing story about the groom", "the couple sweep up together").
• Photo challenge: hand out a list of photo tasks to the guests ("take a photo with the bride's mother", "capture the funniest dance moves").

The Polterabend in Switzerland

The Polterabend is as popular a tradition in Switzerland as it is in Germany and Austria. In Switzerland, however, the word means two different things:

• In the Bern region and Central Switzerland, it is the big party with broken crockery, held a few weeks before the wedding.
• In the rest of German-speaking Switzerland, it often simply means the stag or hen do.

The customs of the crockery party are much the same as across the border: porcelain is smashed to wish the couple luck, the couple sweep up the pieces together, and the party is informal and open to all. Local traditions or dishes are sometimes worked in, but the core of the custom — broken crockery brings luck — is the same.

For the party itself, people usually hire a barn, a club room or the municipality's festival site, including a permit for music after 10 pm. Drinks usually come from a drinks supplier on a sale-or-return basis, and the food from a caterer or as a bring-a-dish buffet. On Hochzeitsuche you can find venues and bands and DJs across Switzerland.

Frequently asked questions

What is the difference between a Polterabend and a stag or hen do?

It is the most common question, and the differences are big:

• Guests: a Polterabend is for everyone (friends, family, neighbours). A stag or hen do is for the closest friends only.
• Organisation: the couple often organise the Polterabend themselves. A stag or hen do is organised by the witnesses or friends for the bride or the groom.
• Place: a Polterabend usually takes place at home or at a venue. A stag or hen do is often an outing or a night out on the town.
• Purpose: a Polterabend is a traditional good-luck custom. A stag or hen do is a party to celebrate the "last night of freedom".

Bear in mind that in much of German-speaking Switzerland, people say Polterabend when they mean the stag or hen do (see above).

What do you wear to a Polterabend?

Something casual and comfortable. It is an informal party, often outdoors, so smart evening wear is out of place. Sturdy shoes are a good idea, given all the broken crockery!

Do I need to bring something to smash?

Yes, that is the whole point! Bring old porcelain or ceramics. It does not have to be anything big: an old plate or cup is plenty.

How long does a Polterabend last?

A Polterabend often has no fixed start or finish. Most begin in the early evening and can go on late into the night. You can come and go as it suits you.

A loud start to a happy marriage

A Polterabend is much more than a noisy party. It is a deep-rooted, symbolic wedding custom that wishes the couple luck in a very tangible, communal way, based on the belief that broken crockery brings luck and that noise drives away evil spirits.

The heart of the evening is the couple sweeping up the pieces together, a sign that they are ready to face whatever life brings as a team. Whether you celebrate traditionally at home, with a theme party or with a creative workshop for the women or the men, a Polterabend is a wonderful, informal chance to be close to the couple and give them an unforgettable start to married life.